NPC: Craig the Battle Droid

Almost a year ago, I entered Haste's April's Fool contest. I was one of the winners, but they never really got around to posting the NPCs. I actually had two entries (both of which won for their category), but here's my favorite of the two.

Craig the Battle Droid

Quote: “Prepare to be eliminated! … Let me know when you’re prepared, okay?”

Appearance: Craig is a towering monstrosity of UltraCarbon™ and steel.  He is ten feet tall and weighs just over two tons, including a full complement of ammunition.  Craig has a vaguely humanoid appearance, but his feet end in rocket-propelled treads, while one arm ends in a rotating rocket cannon and the other ends in a patented Crushalon Pincer® claw.  He has no mouth (just internal speakers), but his hooded eyes glow alternatingly red or green.

Roleplaying: Craig was built as a weapon of war and destruction, but his programming was jumbled with that of a passive butler droid.  As an enemy, Craig never initiates combat, though he does defend himself (apologizing after every attack).  As an ally, Craig is an unreliable combatant since his passive butler programming interferes with his military design.  As a servant, however, Craig is a talented butler, though the occasional burst of flame or hail of bullets is to be expected.

Personality: Craig’s butler programming is definitely the dominant force of his personality.  He is polite and humble, willing to help anyone who isn’t actively an enemy.  He is very knowledgeable about all things butler-related.  When his military design surfaces, however, Craig is unpredictable.  He is armed with the brilliance of a general, the skill of a commando, and the ordnance of a large tank.  Of course, even in fits of violence, Craig’s butler programming rears its head in polite apologies and concern for his enemies.

Motivation: Craig desperately wants to fit in somewhere.  He is not up to par with other similar battle droids, but no one seems to want him as a butler either.  Characters who treat Craig with respect and kindness find him a trusty friend.  Those who scorn or mock Craig soon trigger his violent side.

Background: The company responsible for the Kill-O-Droid line of battle droids built Craig as a prototype.  Unfortunately, a tired programmer inadvertently uploaded the AI for a Butlematic.  Craig promptly failed all of the preliminary tests and the clients refused the new contracts.  As such, Craig is the only battle droid of his kind; though somewhere out there is a Butlematic with the programming of a Wartronic Assault Tank.